The Know-how for the Maid of Honor: Pointers for First-timers

maid of honor

Congratulations on becoming your loved one’s maid of honor! While it can be a flattering and challenging job, you should not take it lightly. So much is expected from you for a short period, which can be stressful. For one, you are expected to help the bride although out the wedding planning process.

This can range from taking charge of bachelorette parties, preparing the bridal showers, communicating the budget with other bridesmaids, and accompanying the bride in choosing the best designer wedding gown. Therefore, you need to be on top of the game and act professionally, especially if this is your first time. However, with so many things you need to do, it’s easy to fall for those you shouldn’t.

Avoid making complaints

Keep in mind that you are not the star of this event. When you accepted your best friend’s invitation to be her maid of honor, you have voluntarily agreed to be her support system and help her in every way you can. For example, regardless if you agree with their wedding venue or not, remember that it is their choice, and that’s what counts.

So, unless the bride asks for your opinion or that you have a better suggestion regarding the budget and entourage, keep any unsolicited advice to yourself. Moreover, weddings represent new beginnings specifically for one’s future and how they’ll live the rest of their lives; thus, it’s easy for women to feel overwhelmed.

As her right-hand-woman, your sole purpose is to provide her with emotional support as they tend to go into a spiral of anxiety attacks and cold feet. So, when they start showing signs of pre-wedding jitters, make sure you are there to calm them down, hold their hand, and assure that everything will be alright.

Don’t assume anything

Just because you are the bride’s sister or closest friend means you know everything about her. Consequently, this doesn’t give you the go signal to decide for her, especially on their special day. Despite your closeness, she is still her own person, and she is entitled to change her mind and preferences.

Remember that it takes two people to decide the outcome of the entire wedding. Unfortunately, you are not the other half. You are there to support her, not be her. Therefore, don’t be surprised if the result is not what you expect your sister or friend would like.

choosing wedding gown

Learn to listen and give them time to decide. Your role is to make sure everything fits according to their plans, needs, desires, and budget. So, whether your sister or friend likes vanilla-flavored cake or not, let the couple have the final say. Don’t resort to making a tantrum or creating a scene that will only embarrass you.

Instead, remind yourself to keep calm and talk to the bride privately if you want to point out crucial issues. This way, you show them how you respect their boundaries while ensuring you perform your duties well.

Don’t forget about yourself

While the bride is your priority in this event, it is just as crucial to check in on yourself. Make sure you are not neglecting your responsibilities outside your maid of honor duties. This includes your job, your relationships, yourself, and the people who depend on you.

After all, one can’t perform their duties if they are already wounded, to begin with. Therefore, manage your time wisely and explain your situation to everyone involved. For example, if you have a child, try not to cancel your parent-teacher meetings and the chance to be there for them when they need you the most.

Studies show that parental absence can cause delayed development of a child’s overall growth and learning. This, in turn, can affect their academic performances and lead to spiraling emotional and mental health issues. So, strive to set your priorities straight to avoid misunderstandings and neglect.

Consequently, do not bring your problems with you, whether with the bride or at home with your family. There is a perfect time and place to address these issues, and constantly stressing will only affect your performance and the people around you. Ensure that your needs are also met and avoid bottling up your feelings. Consider confiding your worries with your partner, a friend, or even with an expert.

Weddings are enjoyable, regardless of how stressful the process can be. Remember that this is a celebration of love and peace for one of the most important persons in your life, and being tasked to become their maid of honor is a responsibility worth doing. So, don’t forget to enjoy and make every step count.

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